Evaluation

High score Score notes

The experience of exercises

I have done the exercises on the Diane Hacker site, having a great time while doing that. I have to say there exercises help me a lot, some problems I did not solve before were settled. For example, when doing the E-ex 8-1 Active vs. passive verbs, I finally figure out the difference between active and passive. I was confused by this two frequently before doing the exercises. Although some exercises were easy for me, most of them were very helpful. Like the E-ex 11-2 Mixed constructions one which left me a deep impression, I got a very hard time while I doing this part. For instance, using worlds such as when, which, what, how in a mixed constructions. However, after finishing these exercises, I cannot say I work it out totally, getting a great improving it is. About e-ex 13-3 shifts, This exercise was helpful, although I already knew that the tense needs to be the same, it still remind me that the voice needs to be either direct or indirect and a person should not ever use the word "you" either.

What makes a story good, our class list.

--Grammar and Structure
-- Introduction: Needs to catch your attention and make you want to keep reading to find out what happens.
-- When it is made for the reader to understand. Target audience.
--Pace: How fast the story moves shouldn't be to fast or to slow.
--Be logical: a story should make sense.
--Emotion: The ability to connect to the emotions of what is happening.
--Creative: Should be something new that makes story more interested and different.
--Imagination: Being creative makes it more interesting to read, and more engaging.
--Using good resources to find legit information.
--Good choice of words but has to make sense.
--Conclusion that summarizes main points of the story.
--Has a good hook in the beginning.
--Creative body could make readers not loose their interests in your story.
--Transition from one point to another.
--Clear and interesting ending.
--Attractive clues that makes you want to read more.
--Put facts from least to most important.
--Mystery: don't make the topic be extremely obvious. allow the reader to actually think about it and try to figure things out for themselves.
--Personalized stories with your own words and ideas are more meaningful and interesting.

Hacker Review of Clear Sentences.

E-ex 8-1 Active vs. passive verbs: This exercise was very helpful, because I always confused the difference between that.
 
E-ex 8-2 Active vs. be verbs: This was easy for me. I did very well in the exercise.

E-ex 8-3 Active verbs  (edit and compare): This exercise was helpful, i know how it works but not so sure about it.


E-ex 9-1 Parallelism: this one was very helpful for , I know how it works now
 
E-ex 9-2 Parallelism: this was very helpful exercise, get something new here.

E-ex 9-3 Parallelism  (edit and compare): This exercise was not helpful, i did it all right, it is also lucky for me, cause this part is very important in english.


E-ex 10-1 Needed words: This exercise was not so helpful, but give me some ideas help me to fix my grammar.



E-ex 10-2 Needed words  (edit and compare): This exercise was very helpful, I did learn about more ways to make a sentence more complete.

E-ex 11-1 Mixed constructions: This exercise is very helpful for me, i did not know how it works before doing this.

E-ex 11-2 Mixed constructions  (edit and compare): This exercise was helpful because I had a hard time to finish it.



E-ex 12-1 Misplaced modifiers: Good to Review and helpful

E-ex 12-2 Misplaced modifiers  (edit and compare): This exercise was helpful for me to clear a sentence.



E-ex 12-3 Dangling modifiers: Not so helpful, but having a good time to do this.

E-ex 12-4 Dangling modifiers  (edit and compare): Not so helpful, but having a good time to do this.

E-ex 13-1 Shifts: person and number: This exercise was not helpful, i already know how to use it.

E-ex 13-2 Shifts: tense: This exercise was not helpful, i already know how to use it.

E-ex 13-3 Shifts: This exercise was not helpful, i already know how to use it.

E-ex 13-4 Shifts  (edit and compare): This exercise was not helpful, i already know how to use it.

E-ex 14-1 Choppy sentences: Helpful exercise, get something new.

E-ex 14-2 Choppy sentences  (edit and compare): Helpful exercise, get something new.

E-ex 14-3 Subordination: This exercise was helpful, I got little confused while doing this one.

Bedford Handbook

13-1 Shifts: Person and Number

Using pronouns, (such as we, are, they, them, us) the writer needs to stay within the same point of view. Keep the sentence singular or plural.

Examples:

Every year I go to the beach, and they find a new species!

This is not correct, the writer should have said,
Every year I go to the beach, and I find a new species!
----------------------------------------------------------------
My rabbit loves to eat, but they don't like carrots.

This is not correct, the writer should have said,
My rabbit loves to eat, but he doesn't like carrots.
----------------------------------------------------------------
When babies have hunger, it cries a lot.

This is not correct, the writer should have said,
When babies have hunger, they cry a lot.



Never use "you" to describe anyone in general.

Example:

When we drove through the city, you began see lots of homeless people.

This is not correct, the writer should have said,
When we drove through the city, we began to see lots of homeless people.

Story-in-a-box

This story is about a crazy adventurer.





    It is being a long time that Adam met Eva, this is known as one of the most romantic stories in everyone’s mind. They fell in love with each other and created the very beginning humanoid civilization.Before long another love story was around the corner. A guy who came from Chili was an extremely crazy adventurer. His name is Romeo; he used to be homeless for a long time because the whole world is his home! He conquered the Himalayas; he involved in the Pacific Ocean trenches, he climbed the pyramids of Egypt, he likes to eat chestnuts.and he is really a travel collector, when it comes to walk into his store room, you can find a lot of fancy stuff and each of these treasure has its own story, for example a head of Pharaoh, he roughly got it from a vault in the every deep of pyramid and a 150 year-old cloth, his great-grandfather left it to him as family heirloom, in the corner of the storeroom, there is an unattractive wallet quietly lying there, but something really powerful within it, it is a magic coin from a Singapore fortune teller, it can bring the coin’s owner unlimited fortune.
     As I said, Romeo, a great adventurer has mostly traveled all around the world, he seems looks like a lone wolf, but actually he’s not because he met his first true love, a girl who comes from Africa and called Juliet by the magical power of the Singapore magic coin…It dates back to one day a long time ago, when Romeo drifted towards a shore of a small African island due to a terrible tsunami that destroyed all his necessities of life. By the time he gradually woke up, he found that his certain entire necessary life backup had already gone except his ruler which is used for drawing navigational chart and his stamp which has his name engraved on it and to crown it all, he trapped in the island. He felt so desperate and thought there would be definitely hopeless for his future. In order to avoid starvation, he started trying to find anything that can be eaten from the island, he stripped the tree bark to make a small canoe so that he can get fish from ocean but no bait hooked on the wooden rod; he dug the soil even grab some nasty insects to allay his hunger, his life became so abnormal difficult.     Eventually someday he couldn’t support his own life anymore; he passed out in the forest by the deadly starvation. When he woke up again, there was a woman figure emerged in front of him, beyond all doubt, she was Juliet, a tribal chief’s daughter, apparently she saved the life of Romeo and pulled him back from death there, since then, Romeo cherished much more his life than he used to be, and continue running his romantic life with his lover and savior Juliet.

Inventory list

1.     Stamp

      This is a Chinese stamp with a detailed carving on the top and a Chinese character on the bottom of the stamp. It is green about 5 inches tall it is a rectangle and about an inch thick.

2.     Statue of a black woman

      A black woman, stand, long ears, one breast unfold. It was hand carved.

3.     Canoe

Made of cortices, about 20 centimeters long.

4.    Blanket

It is hand woven; uncomfortable material, pink flowers. It is soft to the touch and the under-side of it is black.

5.    House Model

Small house, trees close to the door entrance, a cow in the ground.

6.    Ruler

Yellow, two sides measure way.

7.    Wallet

The wallet appears to be made of some kind of leather, and has a snap close, Imprinted with some kind of image.

8.    Jar

Green yellow, cork is on the top.

9.    Chestnut

     Chinese chestnut, brown, firm. 

10. Currency Holder

It is blue and about the size of the billfold. It shows the coins of the republic of Singapore, and in it, it has a 1 cent, 20 cent 10 cent $1, 5 cent and 50 cent pieces.

11. Wood carving of women

The color of this head is the color of a Caucasian lady. She has bright blue eyes and red lips. It is about the 6 inches tall and the size of a tennis ball.

12. Wood carving of a man

This man is playing the drums and is wearing a scarf. He is a little over a foot tall.

About "Who am I."

  The overwhelming majority people would talk about themselves when they were

asked the question – “who am I.” it is like a constant occurrence in human

relationships. Name, major, job, family, health, age, and the like always could become

the first thing came to people’s brains. This question also thought of the first step

about knowing each other.

When is a story “good?”

When is a story “good?”

1.       When it is made for the reader to understand. Target audience.

2.       Pictures to help explain the situation or storyline.

3.       Based on a life experience.

4.       Examples or details to back up what the topic is about.

5.       Rich imagination. Extensive details.

6.       Easy for the reader to follow.

7.       Unexpected ending.

8.       Using good resources to find legit information.

9.       Bring reader into the story or article.

10.   Keeps the reader’s attention.

11.   Has a good hook in the beginning.

Parameters: Make sure to stay on topic. Only write about what you know about.